Missed opportunity

On the way to the office this morning I realized I'd made a mistake.

Last night we passed on the pillows concert I had been talking about back in February. We were set to go, but traffic was oppressive almost from the moment we got out of Stockton at 6:15. When it was 8 and we were barely in Livermore, I had Rhonda call 511. It started to look like we might - might - get to San Francisco by 10, then assuming we hadn't missed their set, we might have to stay until 3 and with the heavy rain, could conceivably not get home until 5ish and still need to work in the morning. Faced with all that, and considering tickets were only $8 apiece, I decided we should forego the rain and the traffic and the inevitable drowsiness at work and head for home.

My attitude at that point could be described in only one way: demoralized.

I was alright about it until the ride to work today, when I had time to reflect on what I'd given up. Japanese rock bands do not tour in America often. Your favorite Japanese rock band touring near your home for the cost of a couple of Frappucinos happens even more infrequently.

More importantly, this is the first time in my life I've really felt old. This wouldn't have happened in college. This wouldn't have happened even a few years ago. I would've been at that concert and stayed until the end. I probably would've just said, screw it, and I would've took a cab to the San Francisco drop-in and worked a 4 am to noon shift, then slept the rest of the day.

What have I become? My friends and I used to stay out drinking and playing video games until the sun came out, and the number of times we've done that has dwindled to the point it's limited to special occasions - bachelor parties, birthdays, and the like. I know I'm going to get old, not much I can do about it, but this was the first time I felt I had gotten soft.

So I blew it. I might get the opportunity again, but odds are against it. About the only thing I can do is try to learn something from it. The first thing to learn: leave earlier from Stockton.