I know it's been almost a month since my last post, but things around here have been busy, what with Rhonda's graduation (yay), my mom's uncharacteristic string of arm injuries (aww), and the usual calamity of everyday Silicon Valley serfdom.
Things have not been good on the job security front. The long-rumored announcement came today that Sun was cutting as many as 5,000 jobs. This was not news to the thousands of Sun employees with half a brain and access to the outside world, but not good news nonetheless.
So starting tomorrow, there will be great fanfare and many meetings called by upper management to tell us they can't really tell us anything at this time. Our stock had a momentary blip, as
So after months of speculation, there is still no relief in sight. Rumors are that even if I survive layoffs next month, I still need to survive round two in late July. Nevermind I've already survived more layoffs (six?) than I can remember in the last four years.
Things are not a lot better for Rhonda. A tenured teacher from another school came in and took her class for next year. Because she doesn't have much seniority, she is still without a contract for next year. Her principal would like to bring her back but there are no positions open for her. She has interviewed with a couple of other principals, but there is much bureaucracy at the district and while people insist she is being fought over and that she "shouldn't worry", they say it might be as late as August before she can be hired.
She's been told not to worry more times than I can count, which is an easy thing to say when your job is secure. Worse, now she's being told not to put all her eggs in one basket and to apply at other districts. If she'd been told that a month ago, she might have a job by now; instead, we're wondering if either of us will have a job come September 1.
This would not be a huge deal if we didn't have a rather large mortgage payment. We've even talked about "what if" we have to sell our house - which is compounded by a shaky real estate market.
I've taken a lot of this in stride, but yesterday, with a "financial update" con call for SUNW scheduled, I'd pretty much had it. I was trying to slice a ribeye steak in half lengthwise (since Costco cuts them friggin' huge and Rhonda can't eat a whole one), and I couldn't cut through a ribbon of fat in the middle. I ended up more or less massacring the beef, and I cut loose (loudly) with a string of obscenities that would make George Carlin blush. Then I pounded my hand on the sink (not very smart) and kicked the cabinet underneath it. After that, I tried to calm down but ended up sobbing on Rhonda's shoulder, holding my left hand out in front of me so as not to get nasty-ass beef blood all over her.
Rhonda worries all the time about all manner of things, and I am always the happy-go-lucky type who has to tell her not to stress out about little stuff. And other than our first layoff, I generally handle stress real well because I generally remember not to worry about things I can't control. But this has been an ongoing series of events compounding. They're not little things I shouldn't be worrying about. I have to worry about losing my job, losing Rhonda's job, losing our house, losing our insurance (no small thing with Rhonda's health), ruining our credit. Or even moving back to Stockton into one of our parents' houses (which would be utter, crushing, demoralizing defeat). It's real, grown-up stress.
I was better today, but that's really not saying much. In the end, this is a scenario neither of us have control over, so all we can do at this point is pray (which, I don't know about Rhonda, but I have been praying for financial stability every Sunday since we signed those papers). In fact, the only thing we could've done differently would be to keep renting instead of buying. Hopefully, it won't be the decision that comes back to bite us in the ass.
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